The Good Space

Helix, the last day, thoughts and reflections

2007-07-29T21:06:00.000-07:00

Erik gave me the last two years of recorded Helix services. It made me feel warm, and it made me appreciate Erik more than ever – he thinks of those things. It also made me realize that I might not get to minister with Erik again for awhile and that stung. I put the CD’s in their box, neatly ordered inside the Gatorade cooler, I knew that was going with me and they wouldn’t fall out of there.

Then we worshipped.
Then we took communion.
Then we prayed.
Then we blessed and hugged.

As service ended, I thanked Jon for doing worship one more time, and we joked about football only being 30 days away. I guess that was my guys’ way of saying ‘thank you’ for his prayers during the service – and indirectly saying, ‘lets keep in touch’, life continues on beyond these doors. It was good stuff that he said.

Then we took the church apart piece by piece.
The busyness was a relief.

As the afternoon wore on, we loaded up and took the sound system out to Sunnyside, where it began. I looked at it sitting there in a pile, with all of its battle scars and memories still clinging to it like the stickers with which it was so-long labeled…and I sensed that the tide was changing and the numb feeling of constant activity would soon give way to sorrow. Very soon, very soon.

Then Travis and I drove home. And we talked and we reminisced for just a few more minutes, and then he and Kim departed.

I ate my Arby’s roast beef in about a minute flat, having not eaten all day. I opened a beer and it tasted good. Alanna and I silently went about bringing in the remnants of the Helix that we had claimed. I held the art in the sun and marveled at Travis’ skill with a brush. I must have stood five minutes looking at the painting, the view of Hawthorne so familiar, but strangely changed to my eyes. It was painted from a snapshot taken by person who I no longer am. The picture was taken by that man in another time, in another frame of mind, from another frame of reference. Had I known then what lay ahead, I would have been afraid, but I had my Jesus and that, I guess, is in the end, all that really matters. Then, Alanna and her mom and Ava left for Big-lots to pick up a table that Doreen had on-hold there.

Suddenly, the day with all its cares, was over. The busyness was done. And I was alone.

I walked out-side, glad for the first quiet of the day…long overdue at 6:10 PM.
I stood still for a few but shortly felt a restlessness flickering at my feet as the warm breeze rustled the trees, and the sun sank towards its 27,000 mph bath. I looked up towards the heavens as I often do, and said out loud to the silence “Love you Lord”, crossing my head and then my lips and then my heart as I sometimes do when I feel the Divine Profoundness pressing in on my temples. I learned it from the Catholics, a practice reminding myself whose mind, and mouth, and heart are these. And then I returned to my ponderings thinking the brief interaction over.

Suddenly, I again looked up and said, “it is just you and I again Lord”. And then the flood-gates opened. Burning hot and salty, without any chance of staunching this flow. I suddenly felt small and young again, but so very old too; all pumping up in shudder after shudder. Then slowly my reluctant tears gave way to silent sobs lest the neighbors hear from their patio and think something very wrong. I felt anguish – deep in my soul, at once a rush of emotions, and sadness, and relief all blended into one. Then up came memories good and bad, friends found and lost, friends living and friends having passed. All these things I watched and wept. Knowing that who I am has died, the new has come, and with the new come the trials and transitions and hurts that must accompany the task of loving others as we have first been loved. This is my first experience of laying down a commission at the Lord’s feet, and sincerely giving it back to Him. It is very strange indeed, defying all that I have come to know and understand as fitting the definition of the word ‘progress’. This decision has required great determination and at a personal level, all the trust that I can muster – daily having to work through to the re-conclusion that God is indeed, Good and nothing apart from Him bears that title.

My greatest fear is that the doors of ministry are shut, and that never again will I be able to teach, or lead, or be aligned with people like all of you again.

I think it is a rare and blessed problem with which I am faced. Rarely, do pastors get to walk away knowing that behind them is only good, is only what God has done, is only love, and change, and camaraderie, and friendship. This is a rare gift indeed. The sorrow lies in the fact that this exact ensemble. This exact and blessed group will never again be put together in this fashion and for all the very best reasons this causes me to grieve. To grieve for good reasons is my own definition of what is best meant by ‘sweet sorrow’.

As I stood there still sobbing on the back patio, I knew that the crescendo of grieving could not yet be at its zenith, not yet even be close to being ready to surrender to the everyday cares of life. I knew, and still know, that it is a pain that I must allow to wash through and over me. I must allow that stream to run until it runs dry, or it will do me harm if it is kept inside. As I watched it pass there, standing in the sun, I realized just how much I love you all, and just how much I desperately want you all to succeed. It is a desperation born of seeing so many fail and fall. You are all the best, and I want you to know that Alanna and I did the very best we could in this season of life to love you all well. For those for whom we have fallen short, I am very sorry. For those who feel well loved, we are thankful that you do.

For having the chance to be a part of, and even to lead the Helix, it has been my privilege and I feel more qualified and less worthy than I did at the beginning. You are all magnificent followers of Jesus and I want you all to walk away from this experience, if with nothing else, than that your eyes are now, more than ever firmly fixed on Jesus.

Then, the sun seemed dim through my tears and I realized I must write – I must hammer at the keys these things - and to its end, here it is.

This is my letter to you all saying, I love you. Fare thee well. We love you. Keep following Jesus. Don’t ever give up. Stay in touch. We are family now. Even if time and distance separate us, we are all adopted family and the blood of the Lamb is thicker than water.

Speakeasy in October so Cheers! See you there.

Rock on Helix. This party ain’t over yet. We’ve got a ways to go before we are home.

Blessings,
A.G.

Rev. Andrew Goodwin

Time for a new Post

2005-06-24T15:16:00.000-07:00

You've really hit rock bottom when the only comments you get on your blog are to the effect of 'time for a new post' (thanks jcrash for the exhortation). I have written about blogger blues, living vicariously, but now I must write on the tough subject of, 'When bad things happen to good Bloggers'. - I am just kidding. Its all just spiritual weightlifting - nothing so bad as that.

All is more-or-less well, and I am thankful. But like a big sleepy bear, the Good Space, seems to have gone into hibernation these last several weeks. So why haven't I posted a new blog? I am unsure, perhaps I could merely chock it up to perfectionistic dysfunction - or, If I step outside for a second and look around, I would observe, that in fact we have simply been wrapped up doing stuff for Helix. This I love, this I thrive on. (come and see us there!) Lately, Helix has been my expression but my hope is that as many hands join in and the work becomes lighter and lighter - I will once again venture back out to the Good Space and tinker with words and images. I really need to get a camera is what I need to do. Besides, there is a reason that they say a picture is worth 1000 words.

A.G.

2005-06-12T23:17:00.000-07:00

I was just notified by the creativity police that I posted an entry very similar to Sloop's entry about Lola. (http://sloopsicedeck.blogspot.com/) I just wanted to clarify that mine was NO attempt at friendplagiarism at all. I was just staring at my dog and started typing about what he was thinking. Zach and I are very close and I was realizing I had never written about my buddy and his watery, phenylbarbatol ridden little brain with the very big heart.

The fact of the matter is - the saying 'its time had come' is very true - Sloop and myself are just creative geniuses. What can I say? We simply both thought of the perfect blog entry circa the same time unbeknownst to one another. So I started thinking about what Sloop might be thinking at this very moment. I couldn't really think of anything clever since I am not him. So I decided instead to write about what I am thinking. Again, I could not really think of anything. I think my brain-waves are being muted by the sounds of 'Bad Boys' playing in the background. Will Smith may be cute to some, but I think he is only a vaguely amusing formula actor. Not formula in the sense of Brando - because that would be flattery - more in the sense of, well, Will Smith, or maybe that guy in Napoleon Dynamite.

A.G.

2005-06-09T23:58:00.000-07:00

Replace. New Picture. One of my favorite Helix logos yet. We should have a contest and come up with a cool new 'official' logo for our church.

Zach Thoughts

2005-06-09T21:07:00.000-07:00

I am laying on the floor, worried. Dinner is late. So late. I am losing my senses. I am in a bad way, in fact, I can't feel my legs. I can see one of them and it looks fine, but the rest of my limbs must have gone numb - maybe when I lay on them I can't feel them anymore. I wonder if they are still there? If I can't see them are they still there? How do I know they are not actually gone, its hard to prove anything - especially when there is always someone else who looks exactly like me blocking my view to the mirror. Selfish.

Anyway, I had better walk around and shake this feeling off. My head itches, I wish I hadn't lost my hands during that last nap. Walk around, walk around, shake it off, you're fine. Man, dinner is really late. I AM worried. Don't they KNOW that I have epilepsy? I could die here! Once every twelve hours, I had better sleep, or pace around, maybe I could patrol every room and look for that thing I keep forgetting whenever I think about that other thing and then get distracted by my own state of starvation. What is keeping everybody? Aaaaahhh. I need my dinner!!! Ahhh, 12 hours PEOPLE. I wish I could open my mouth and say something. This place is so oppressive - everybody talks so fast and they only say the things that really matter once in a great while. Things like dinner, and dinner, and treats, and love, and dinner, and poop, and bedtime. Now that's what matters. My head itches. I wish I had hands. Evolution is so unfair.

Zach sleeping. Dreaming about his next meal, or a field of glorious dandelions with endless fields of smelly things hidden in between, like easter eggs.

Riblets & Blogging the Frog

2005-06-02T22:03:00.000-07:00

Today I talked with a frog. It was very small but very loud. This is no manifestation of me missing my wife or hoping for a replacement or anything like that. I AM the frog whisperer. I speak, and they listen because they love to listen to the frog whisperer. Frogs are cool. We had to pith a frog in biology once - I think that I puked. Later that school year I started an iron-works and harbored a whole bunch of desperate, persecuted frogs until after the SAT's; I heard they unionized - I like to think that I instilled a sense of dignity in them and that they were acting to better themselves. Either that or they heard about Jurassic Park and were like, "heck no, their not patching me into some genetic chain and bringing about the fall of some silly humans on an idyllic paradise in the South Pacific."

Speaking of genetic chains, we had ribs for dinner. Baby-back slow cooked via smoke - they were delicioso. Ariana is a great cook and even better smoker (bbq). They were basted with the goodwin famous kitchen sink bbq sauce. I inadvertently typed 'skin' the first time- a most disturbing thought indeed. I think they had a rub and some dunking or mopping, or something flavorful like that. Sure beats sloppy-joe sauce vegan-style over toast for dinner. Mmm, good sauce.

Anyway, it is definitely Thursday. I have been sick with some kind of African jungle malarial jaundice type bacterial infection of the eyes - they tell me it is rare and harmless but the medication will not be OTC until early next year. They said I could fly to Canada or Mexico for the medicine, but to be careful because good folks have been known to wake up groggy and sore with a different proboscis in a different place when not prudent. So, please send money. Pity is an option, however currency is a more definite way of saying, "I love you". Did I mention the frog?

I saw Star Wars III, it was sad and pitiful - but then it makes you take a deep breath, look at your loved ones, smile, and think, "better Anakin than me, I'd make a terrible Sith Lord anyhow. What with my langyreal whooping cough and all." So, what's with Dooku? That dude was lame, and then he just looks startled and loses his head.

A.G.

2005-05-21T22:50:00.000-07:00

Replace: new picture. We should have a run-off for the coolest new "official" Helix logo - maybe we can make it an annual thing

I Recant

2005-05-18T10:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, I recant. After I said I had nothing to say - I felt a deep conviction that I did have something to say, but that I was letting my own silly nature get in the way today. Probably 'cuz I am emotionally and mentally beat at the moment. The last couple months have been exhausting - but also tremendous spiritually - I have not felt this alive in a long, long time. God is good, and His vision for the future is imparting life into our community, into our individuals, and into each of our personal relationships with God.

I thought of this Psalm as fitting for the season. There will always be trouble - there will always be issues and stress - and we will often have brought it on ourselves! But the fact of the matter is that it is not about whether or not we make mistakes - whether or not we sin - we ARE going to sin - we are going to fall and many times! But the key indicator is learning.

When we have trouble - what happens? If we put our trust in Him - a) we will never be ashamed b) we will be open to hear His voice c) He will teach us the correct way to go and how not to repeat our mistakes d) We will have the power and assurance of His salvation actively and daily at work in our lives. We make mistakes daily; if we work on those mistakes daily; then we are also in daily contact with His faithful instruction, correction, and life. The assurance is that as long as we are making mistakes and learning from God in prayer and His word - what the right way should have been - then that is an actual proof of his Love and care for us.

Hebrews 12:10-11: "Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

Read through this Psalm! look at all the discussion that goes on about learning, teaching, instructing, correcting - why He does it, and what kind of a reflection that is on His nature and His love towards us, His children. I like it, I like it a lot.

(btw, stumbled across this factoid, we geeks will love it: This psalm is an acrostic poem, the verses of which begin with the successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet - Free Starbucks to the first person who can reply comments with WHAT THOSE LETTERS ARE - add-shot if you figure out which Hebrew letter is also the letter of Messiah. First wager on who I will owe coffee to - just the initials - Lavalier.)

Psalm 25 Of David.

1[a] To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;
2 in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. 3 No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.
4 Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths;
5 guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.
6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old.
7 Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD.
8 Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
9 He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.
10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of your name, O LORD, forgive my iniquity, though it is great.
12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.
13 He will spend his days in prosperity, and his descendants will inherit the land.
14 The LORD confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.
15 My eyes are ever on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish.
18 Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.
19 See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me!
20 Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you.
22 Redeem Israel, O God, from all their troubles!

Living Vicariously

2005-05-11T14:32:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel that life is mundane? That you are stuck in a rut. I don't usually feel that way - in fact I love my life - and virtually all of the wonderful persons in my life. However, once in awhile - just to keep it interesting I like to live vicariously. So, let me tell you about a really awesome party that I never actually attended. Perhaps, with a few historical revisions, MY party might even be better than THE party. This is cool. I can still make this the best party I have never attended.

I heard this killer story about my friends party - I of course would have attended, had I not been trapped aboard my chartered Lear (sp? - does it matter, its VICARIOUS dude) jet somewhere over the Bahamas. You see, the day before, while sipping Martinis and telling hilarious 100% true tall-tales with the pilots (all former Gulf War aces, of course) we had drifted somewhat off course and been forced to lay-over in a miserable little all-inclusive resort on Saint Croix. Anyway, back to the facts; as I was waylaid by these unfortunate circumstances, this fabby party was going on in glorious Portland. BTW, Portland IS the place I call home, and not just because I live there. It is also the most wonderful, balanced, fiscally sound, and morally upstanding city in the world. Swear (here). The city is so free from crime, and corruption that babies are able to crawl about willy-nilly and people just stop their cars and mill about while waiting for them to cross; filling the time laughing and telling stories about how great their 401K is doing and how much they appreciate the new iTax that has been implemented to save the city from the great evil of extra money that otherwise would have been spent on our own, well contained, completely deniable, selfishness that never hurts anyone else anyway (sheesh). Oh, - and there is no stress in Portland, because we have all been liberated and everyone is allowed a 90% flextime work schedule.

Wow, completely off track and where did the focus go anyway? Back to the point: the story of the party. There I am flying over all those pitiful souls trapped in the Bermuda triangle (why anyone would travel by boat after all those Ripley's Believe it or Not Documentaries have so firmly established what goes on there is just beyond me) missing this out-of-this-world mojito (pronounced with a hard ‘j’ of course – everyone who has ever studied Spanish knows this) party. To sum it up, there was drinking of Mojitos, dancing, running around in the mud, squishing mud between toes, and a 3 person re-enactment of that one Pearl Jam concert where everybody got muddy and the only description they could come up with was VS. – that’s not even a whole word.

A.G.

Blogger Blues

2005-05-09T22:35:00.000-07:00

Do artists ever have qualms? Moments of self-doubt? That is how the fabulous new art-form of blogging makes me feel sometimes. That my pursuit of blogger creation is idiocy. Maybe having a forum like this isn't so great - now I am burdened by it and worry about it. My blog is so lonely; I've neglected it for two days; I haven't had anything new to say in over 72 hours - oh no! Maybe I should re-format it. Whatever. I guess I am having blogger blues. Its like blogger-adolescence: fun that is occasionally interrupted by sudden viscious and unexplainable fits of paranoia and insecurity. I would compare it to when a person spends too much time reading magazines or watching E-News, and then gets all depressed about life, reality, fashion, getting old - and every other thing that those 'zines and feeds teach you how to fear. I have been perusing other peoples' web-logs and now feel that mine is not that great - That I need a digital camera - that I need to be more witty - that I am not cool anymore - that I need a bigger posse of people to have links to my site. Sigghh. Ok, I am done now. I am fine. My web-log is fine, I love everybody, I love my blog. Good-night.

The Love of God: Justice & the Heart of the Father

2005-05-09T00:06:00.001-07:00

Excerpt from 5.08.2005, Helix Foursquare Sermon.

You see, we live in a darkened, silent planet that is broken – we live under the darkened veil of sin - and the god of this world is still – for a little while he is yet in dominion.

While this age lasts – there is darkness, and sin, and violence, and injustice – cruelty, bigotry, racism, economic injustice, wage discrimination, inequality between men and women – even among the members of the body of Christ.

Disease even in His body that will one day be removed – In our community I see it being removed much sooner than “one day.” Amen and Amen. – It is very soon.

Women, mothers, daughters being treated as less-than because of their sex.
This is a great evil in the sight of God – and He will repay.

Women, mothers, have a place of great honor in the kingdom

Out of the curse of Eve – also came the blessing of the father that it would be by her that the head of the serpent would be crushed.

It is by women, and a long lineage of righteousness, and bravery, and hearing the word of the Father and obeying - that Christ came into this world. (See the beginning of the Gospels, Rahab, and on).

This fallen world that is so prejudiced against women – that is why the Enemy raises such a standard against you – but God loves you and He has your back.

Many of the mightiest in the Kingdom, even yet in these end times will be the faithful mothers, daughters – those that pray and intercede – and faithfully carry out the will of the Lord - obedience that will lead to the highest honor – the crown of life and exceeding glory.

You see – our God knows all the evil and all the hurt, and all the corruption and HE WILL repay – it is not our job as the Church to repay – because his judgment and justice is inevitable.

God is a God of power, and wondrous mercy, and when he looks on His children – He does not see Men and Women, Rich & Poor, he sees those that he loves hurting and being unjust one to another – and it grieves him – He is no respecter of persons – he only knows that that is a part of Himself that he is put into that woman –the breath of life He personally put into that woman – and she is being hurt, and it kindles his wrath.

I often times have an image of the Lord, the Holy Spirit – who is often times seen as the compassionate comforter – the motherly nature of God if you will –
But I also see that he is a mighty warrior – and when He walks towards you with those eyes smoldering, kindled fire in there – you know that His reign is absolute and imminent – to question is foolishness.

He will set all of these thing to right – and we will all know His nature one way or another – but my heart and my prayer for this community is that we would find out his nature of compassion, love, justice, unity, forgiveness and justice – by his love and salvation and deliverance through Jesus Christ – not through the unstoppable hand of His judgment.

When I see the Holy Spirit in that light – I see Him walking – and he is at once Jesus and the Holy Spirit – but it is the warrior Jesus and he reaches out with his nail pierced hands that gave up so willingly –but never again. Never again.

He reaches out with those hands and lays hold of his child and says...

Lays hold of that child, that daughter who has been bound to the earth, bound by so many chains – and the mocking voice of the enemy that would say she will never be free.

And he says…

“This one is mine…This child is mine, and I love her with an everlasting love – And no man shall separate her from Me.”

“This one is MINE, and she is safe, and none shall separate her from the love and protection of my Strong Hand – She is safe in the shadow of my wings. I AM home.”

Woe to those that would come between.

But it is worth it.
It is a mystery that he can be both a God of severity and a God of compassion – but he is God – and is capable of being all things to all people in all circumstances. He CAN meet you where you are at.

He is slow to anger, and so long-suffering – His patience for us is immeasurable and He desires that all should come to repentance and salvation.

His love for us is unshakeable
His hope is for our best
He calls out to us over and over all the days of our lives
He longs for us to come home to him

37"(AP)Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who (AQ)kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, (AR)the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling.

Gold & Fire

2005-05-05T17:19:00.000-07:00

Gold and Fire
by Andrew Goodwin

I've seen your heart, on the funeral pyre.
You've grown so old, you've grown so tired.
You know your end, and it is filled with fire.
We all end up there, even those with hearts of gold.

I've seen my heart, on that same pyre.
Worn and old, paper thin from trying.
Aged at birth, dying for life.
Death's forceps make brief allowance,
For the passing of the alchemist's dream.

Like tares in the sheaf, good only for burning;
It seems, my life is wood and paper.
Kindling split from imagination's trunk
Reduced to vapors in a second.
The frozen moment that lasts a lifetime.

Wreaths encircling and haunting, bound to serve.
Altars raised to ward off the mercy of forgetfulness
Lest dreams once treasured be forgotten.
Oasis-mirage leaves but a bitter remark.

Today, I will burn with you
Upon your funeral pyre,
If you will stay judgment.
Stay with me and chat awhile.
Speak, in tongues of fire;
If only for a second.
Let us converse, you and I;
Of the days of gold and sun.

And as we speak, let us build
An empire of hope, renewed.
Let us douse the acrid embers and pray,
For sacred wind and cleansing fire,
"Bind me to your heart of gold, beneath your wings,
hide me by your heart of fire, in the shadow of your wings.
And when I awake may I be where streets are gold."

Last week, This week

2005-05-02T15:38:00.000-07:00

This last week has resulted in powerful change. I am excited, there is much still to be done - but when people lay down their pride, and agenda's, and busyness - and come together and pray, and choose to be reconciled with each other, and to put their love for one another above their own ambition - that just has to be a God thing.

Much of what we saw these last weeks has been of a nature that I have never seen with my own eyes - only talked about and read in books. Boo-yah. Can't get enough of that.

As I write and reflect on the last fortnight I am reminded of one of my college mentors who recently passed away. He died leaving behind a powerful legacy & ministry of gender, race, and socio-economic reconciliation. It was Eric that helped open my eyes to the nature of the Gospel and the power of reconciliation that must be an inherent part of belief in Our Lord. I am realizing that it has been roughly 6 months since Eric's passing. It was then that I flew down for his funeral at which no fewer than 10 head pastors (of different Churches), Male, Female, Causasian, African-American, Asian -all spoke. It was there that we all worshipped together and celebrated a beautiful, crystalline life - that was as much was a reflection of the nature, and justice, and love of Jesus as maybe any life I will ever encounter.

http://www2.caringbridge.org/ca/ericbrown/index.htm

It was 6 months ago that I was praying at his funeral that all of his ministry would not have been in vain, but would bear fruit long after he left this globe. I prayed that in some small way, I too might have the privilege of carrying on that Ministry of reconciliation. Coincidence? I do not believe in it for a second. Sometimes a seed must go into the earth and die – but only to sleep for a season – and then the Lord raises up fruit from that seed 10 and 100 fold. I do credit Eric, and Harambe, and the ministry at Catalina – those people who walked me through the process and made themselves available to teach me the secrets of the Gospel - with awaking within my spirit the reality that the Blood of Jesus was shed to bring reconciliation – that is the power and the message of the Gospel – pure, sweet, and simple. Once you see it that way – life really just begins to be rich.

-A.G.

Welcome: Beginnings and the nature of whiteness

2005-04-30T10:29:00.000-07:00

What to write to start a blog. This is possibly the greatest adventure I have ever... ohhh, never mind.

Welcome to my blog. Don't laugh, this is just the beginning of it. Beginnings are always white, blank, and boring. However, white can also be the end. White as snow. That is the end in my mind.

Although his works might appear mundane - Lawrence Calcagno the painter of the White Series has said, “The pure white surface of the canvas is a metaphor for perfection. When I touch the canvas with paint the perfection is destroyed. As I proceed I try to re-approach the harmony and the unity of the original canvas.” and later he stated, “I feel that I paint the white shadow of reality beyond the outward appearance of things and ideas.”

Okay, maybe he was an idealist, but that is okay - Ideals - morals, transparency, reconciliation - Ideals are what make reality not quite so gray. He felt that there was more to reality than the outward vestiges that cloak our world and the people in them. What Calgano felt, I know to be true. People are so much more, reality is so much more. There is so much more life, so much more space, so much more hope in the Spirit, in the inner realm, in that good place. That is what I want to see on this blog - it is so easy to be negative but so very hard to be real. So, please parlay with me, and let's make this something good. Let's explore in The Good Space.

- A.G.

LANDSCAPE AS PROCESS

“The landscape is no longer seen as an object or thing. It becomes a unified color structure or elemental process. Tension is not neutralized; it is brought to a high state of equilibrium, like a spinning top that appears to be motionless. Contradictions between movement and stillness, strength and tenderness, matter and spirit are reconciled to become one in form and image on the canvas.”

LAWRENCE CALCAGNO