I was just notified by the creativity police that I posted an entry very similar to Sloop's entry about Lola. (http://sloopsicedeck.blogspot.com/) I just wanted to clarify that mine was NO attempt at friendplagiarism at all. I was just staring at my dog and started typing about what he was thinking. Zach and I are very close and I was realizing I had never written about my buddy and his watery, phenylbarbatol ridden little brain with the very big heart.
The fact of the matter is - the saying 'its time had come' is very true - Sloop and myself are just creative geniuses. What can I say? We simply both thought of the perfect blog entry circa the same time unbeknownst to one another. So I started thinking about what Sloop might be thinking at this very moment. I couldn't really think of anything clever since I am not him. So I decided instead to write about what I am thinking. Again, I could not really think of anything. I think my brain-waves are being muted by the sounds of 'Bad Boys' playing in the background. Will Smith may be cute to some, but I think he is only a vaguely amusing formula actor. Not formula in the sense of Brando - because that would be flattery - more in the sense of, well, Will Smith, or maybe that guy in Napoleon Dynamite.
A.G.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Zach Thoughts
I am laying on the floor, worried. Dinner is late. So late. I am losing my senses. I am in a bad way, in fact, I can't feel my legs. I can see one of them and it looks fine, but the rest of my limbs must have gone numb - maybe when I lay on them I can't feel them anymore. I wonder if they are still there? If I can't see them are they still there? How do I know they are not actually gone, its hard to prove anything - especially when there is always someone else who looks exactly like me blocking my view to the mirror. Selfish.
Anyway, I had better walk around and shake this feeling off. My head itches, I wish I hadn't lost my hands during that last nap. Walk around, walk around, shake it off, you're fine. Man, dinner is really late. I AM worried. Don't they KNOW that I have epilepsy? I could die here! Once every twelve hours, I had better sleep, or pace around, maybe I could patrol every room and look for that thing I keep forgetting whenever I think about that other thing and then get distracted by my own state of starvation. What is keeping everybody? Aaaaahhh. I need my dinner!!! Ahhh, 12 hours PEOPLE. I wish I could open my mouth and say something. This place is so oppressive - everybody talks so fast and they only say the things that really matter once in a great while. Things like dinner, and dinner, and treats, and love, and dinner, and poop, and bedtime. Now that's what matters. My head itches. I wish I had hands. Evolution is so unfair.
Zach sleeping. Dreaming about his next meal, or a field of glorious dandelions with endless fields of smelly things hidden in between, like easter eggs.
Anyway, I had better walk around and shake this feeling off. My head itches, I wish I hadn't lost my hands during that last nap. Walk around, walk around, shake it off, you're fine. Man, dinner is really late. I AM worried. Don't they KNOW that I have epilepsy? I could die here! Once every twelve hours, I had better sleep, or pace around, maybe I could patrol every room and look for that thing I keep forgetting whenever I think about that other thing and then get distracted by my own state of starvation. What is keeping everybody? Aaaaahhh. I need my dinner!!! Ahhh, 12 hours PEOPLE. I wish I could open my mouth and say something. This place is so oppressive - everybody talks so fast and they only say the things that really matter once in a great while. Things like dinner, and dinner, and treats, and love, and dinner, and poop, and bedtime. Now that's what matters. My head itches. I wish I had hands. Evolution is so unfair.
Zach sleeping. Dreaming about his next meal, or a field of glorious dandelions with endless fields of smelly things hidden in between, like easter eggs.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
I Recant
Okay, I recant. After I said I had nothing to say - I felt a deep conviction that I did have something to say, but that I was letting my own silly nature get in the way today. Probably 'cuz I am emotionally and mentally beat at the moment. The last couple months have been exhausting - but also tremendous spiritually - I have not felt this alive in a long, long time. God is good, and His vision for the future is imparting life into our community, into our individuals, and into each of our personal relationships with God.
I thought of this Psalm as fitting for the season. There will always be trouble - there will always be issues and stress - and we will often have brought it on ourselves! But the fact of the matter is that it is not about whether or not we make mistakes - whether or not we sin - we ARE going to sin - we are going to fall and many times! But the key indicator is learning.
When we have trouble - what happens? If we put our trust in Him - a) we will never be ashamed b) we will be open to hear His voice c) He will teach us the correct way to go and how not to repeat our mistakes d) We will have the power and assurance of His salvation actively and daily at work in our lives. We make mistakes daily; if we work on those mistakes daily; then we are also in daily contact with His faithful instruction, correction, and life. The assurance is that as long as we are making mistakes and learning from God in prayer and His word - what the right way should have been - then that is an actual proof of his Love and care for us.
Hebrews 12:10-11: "Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
Read through this Psalm! look at all the discussion that goes on about learning, teaching, instructing, correcting - why He does it, and what kind of a reflection that is on His nature and His love towards us, His children. I like it, I like it a lot.
(btw, stumbled across this factoid, we geeks will love it: This psalm is an acrostic poem, the verses of which begin with the successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet - Free Starbucks to the first person who can reply comments with WHAT THOSE LETTERS ARE - add-shot if you figure out which Hebrew letter is also the letter of Messiah. First wager on who I will owe coffee to - just the initials - Lavalier.)
Psalm 25 Of David.
1[a] To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;
2 in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. 3 No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.
4 Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths;
5 guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.
6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old.
7 Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD.
8 Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
9 He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.
10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of your name, O LORD, forgive my iniquity, though it is great.
12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.
13 He will spend his days in prosperity, and his descendants will inherit the land.
14 The LORD confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.
15 My eyes are ever on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish.
18 Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.
19 See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me!
20 Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you.
22 Redeem Israel, O God, from all their troubles!
I thought of this Psalm as fitting for the season. There will always be trouble - there will always be issues and stress - and we will often have brought it on ourselves! But the fact of the matter is that it is not about whether or not we make mistakes - whether or not we sin - we ARE going to sin - we are going to fall and many times! But the key indicator is learning.
When we have trouble - what happens? If we put our trust in Him - a) we will never be ashamed b) we will be open to hear His voice c) He will teach us the correct way to go and how not to repeat our mistakes d) We will have the power and assurance of His salvation actively and daily at work in our lives. We make mistakes daily; if we work on those mistakes daily; then we are also in daily contact with His faithful instruction, correction, and life. The assurance is that as long as we are making mistakes and learning from God in prayer and His word - what the right way should have been - then that is an actual proof of his Love and care for us.
Hebrews 12:10-11: "Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
Read through this Psalm! look at all the discussion that goes on about learning, teaching, instructing, correcting - why He does it, and what kind of a reflection that is on His nature and His love towards us, His children. I like it, I like it a lot.
(btw, stumbled across this factoid, we geeks will love it: This psalm is an acrostic poem, the verses of which begin with the successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet - Free Starbucks to the first person who can reply comments with WHAT THOSE LETTERS ARE - add-shot if you figure out which Hebrew letter is also the letter of Messiah. First wager on who I will owe coffee to - just the initials - Lavalier.)
Psalm 25 Of David.
1[a] To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;
2 in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. 3 No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.
4 Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths;
5 guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.
6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old.
7 Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD.
8 Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
9 He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.
10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of your name, O LORD, forgive my iniquity, though it is great.
12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.
13 He will spend his days in prosperity, and his descendants will inherit the land.
14 The LORD confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.
15 My eyes are ever on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish.
18 Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.
19 See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me!
20 Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you.
22 Redeem Israel, O God, from all their troubles!
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Living Vicariously
Do you ever feel that life is mundane? That you are stuck in a rut. I don't usually feel that way - in fact I love my life - and virtually all of the wonderful persons in my life. However, once in awhile - just to keep it interesting I like to live vicariously. So, let me tell you about a really awesome party that I never actually attended. Perhaps, with a few historical revisions, MY party might even be better than THE party. This is cool. I can still make this the best party I have never attended.
I heard this killer story about my friends party - I of course would have attended, had I not been trapped aboard my chartered Lear (sp? - does it matter, its VICARIOUS dude) jet somewhere over the Bahamas. You see, the day before, while sipping Martinis and telling hilarious 100% true tall-tales with the pilots (all former Gulf War aces, of course) we had drifted somewhat off course and been forced to lay-over in a miserable little all-inclusive resort on Saint Croix. Anyway, back to the facts; as I was waylaid by these unfortunate circumstances, this fabby party was going on in glorious Portland. BTW, Portland IS the place I call home, and not just because I live there. It is also the most wonderful, balanced, fiscally sound, and morally upstanding city in the world. Swear (here). The city is so free from crime, and corruption that babies are able to crawl about willy-nilly and people just stop their cars and mill about while waiting for them to cross; filling the time laughing and telling stories about how great their 401K is doing and how much they appreciate the new iTax that has been implemented to save the city from the great evil of extra money that otherwise would have been spent on our own, well contained, completely deniable, selfishness that never hurts anyone else anyway (sheesh). Oh, - and there is no stress in Portland, because we have all been liberated and everyone is allowed a 90% flextime work schedule.
A.G.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Gold & Fire
Gold and Fire
by Andrew Goodwin
I've seen your heart, on the funeral pyre.
You've grown so old, you've grown so tired.
You know your end, and it is filled with fire.
We all end up there, even those with hearts of gold.
I've seen my heart, on that same pyre.
Worn and old, paper thin from trying.
Aged at birth, dying for life.
Death's forceps make brief allowance,
For the passing of the alchemist's dream.
Like tares in the sheaf, good only for burning;
It seems, my life is wood and paper.
Kindling split from imagination's trunk
Reduced to vapors in a second.
The frozen moment that lasts a lifetime.
Wreaths encircling and haunting, bound to serve.
Altars raised to ward off the mercy of forgetfulness
Lest dreams once treasured be forgotten.
Oasis-mirage leaves but a bitter remark.
Today, I will burn with you
Upon your funeral pyre,
If you will stay judgment.
Stay with me and chat awhile.
Speak, in tongues of fire;
If only for a second.
Let us converse, you and I;
Of the days of gold and sun.
And as we speak, let us build
An empire of hope, renewed.
Let us douse the acrid embers and pray,
For sacred wind and cleansing fire,
"Bind me to your heart of gold, beneath your wings,
hide me by your heart of fire, in the shadow of your wings.
And when I awake may I be where streets are gold."
by Andrew Goodwin
I've seen your heart, on the funeral pyre.
You've grown so old, you've grown so tired.
You know your end, and it is filled with fire.
We all end up there, even those with hearts of gold.
I've seen my heart, on that same pyre.
Worn and old, paper thin from trying.
Aged at birth, dying for life.
Death's forceps make brief allowance,
For the passing of the alchemist's dream.
Like tares in the sheaf, good only for burning;
It seems, my life is wood and paper.
Kindling split from imagination's trunk
Reduced to vapors in a second.
The frozen moment that lasts a lifetime.
Wreaths encircling and haunting, bound to serve.
Altars raised to ward off the mercy of forgetfulness
Lest dreams once treasured be forgotten.
Oasis-mirage leaves but a bitter remark.
Today, I will burn with you
Upon your funeral pyre,
If you will stay judgment.
Stay with me and chat awhile.
Speak, in tongues of fire;
If only for a second.
Let us converse, you and I;
Of the days of gold and sun.
And as we speak, let us build
An empire of hope, renewed.
Let us douse the acrid embers and pray,
For sacred wind and cleansing fire,
"Bind me to your heart of gold, beneath your wings,
hide me by your heart of fire, in the shadow of your wings.
And when I awake may I be where streets are gold."
Monday, May 02, 2005
Last week, This week
This last week has resulted in powerful change. I am excited, there is much still to be done - but when people lay down their pride, and agenda's, and busyness - and come together and pray, and choose to be reconciled with each other, and to put their love for one another above their own ambition - that just has to be a God thing.
Much of what we saw these last weeks has been of a nature that I have never seen with my own eyes - only talked about and read in books. Boo-yah. Can't get enough of that.
As I write and reflect on the last fortnight I am reminded of one of my college mentors who recently passed away. He died leaving behind a powerful legacy & ministry of gender, race, and socio-economic reconciliation. It was Eric that helped open my eyes to the nature of the Gospel and the power of reconciliation that must be an inherent part of belief in Our Lord. I am realizing that it has been roughly 6 months since Eric's passing. It was then that I flew down for his funeral at which no fewer than 10 head pastors (of different Churches), Male, Female, Causasian, African-American, Asian -all spoke. It was there that we all worshipped together and celebrated a beautiful, crystalline life - that was as much was a reflection of the nature, and justice, and love of Jesus as maybe any life I will ever encounter.
http://www2.caringbridge.org/ca/ericbrown/index.htm
It was 6 months ago that I was praying at his funeral that all of his ministry would not have been in vain, but would bear fruit long after he left this globe. I prayed that in some small way, I too might have the privilege of carrying on that Ministry of reconciliation. Coincidence? I do not believe in it for a second. Sometimes a seed must go into the earth and die – but only to sleep for a season – and then the Lord raises up fruit from that seed 10 and 100 fold. I do credit Eric, and Harambe, and the ministry at Catalina – those people who walked me through the process and made themselves available to teach me the secrets of the Gospel - with awaking within my spirit the reality that the Blood of Jesus was shed to bring reconciliation – that is the power and the message of the Gospel – pure, sweet, and simple. Once you see it that way – life really just begins to be rich.
-A.G.
Much of what we saw these last weeks has been of a nature that I have never seen with my own eyes - only talked about and read in books. Boo-yah. Can't get enough of that.
As I write and reflect on the last fortnight I am reminded of one of my college mentors who recently passed away. He died leaving behind a powerful legacy & ministry of gender, race, and socio-economic reconciliation. It was Eric that helped open my eyes to the nature of the Gospel and the power of reconciliation that must be an inherent part of belief in Our Lord. I am realizing that it has been roughly 6 months since Eric's passing. It was then that I flew down for his funeral at which no fewer than 10 head pastors (of different Churches), Male, Female, Causasian, African-American, Asian -all spoke. It was there that we all worshipped together and celebrated a beautiful, crystalline life - that was as much was a reflection of the nature, and justice, and love of Jesus as maybe any life I will ever encounter.
http://www2.caringbridge.org/ca/ericbrown/index.htm
It was 6 months ago that I was praying at his funeral that all of his ministry would not have been in vain, but would bear fruit long after he left this globe. I prayed that in some small way, I too might have the privilege of carrying on that Ministry of reconciliation. Coincidence? I do not believe in it for a second. Sometimes a seed must go into the earth and die – but only to sleep for a season – and then the Lord raises up fruit from that seed 10 and 100 fold. I do credit Eric, and Harambe, and the ministry at Catalina – those people who walked me through the process and made themselves available to teach me the secrets of the Gospel - with awaking within my spirit the reality that the Blood of Jesus was shed to bring reconciliation – that is the power and the message of the Gospel – pure, sweet, and simple. Once you see it that way – life really just begins to be rich.
-A.G.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Welcome: Beginnings and the nature of whiteness
What to write to start a blog. This is possibly the greatest adventure I have ever... ohhh, never mind.
Welcome to my blog. Don't laugh, this is just the beginning of it. Beginnings are always white, blank, and boring. However, white can also be the end. White as snow. That is the end in my mind.
Although his works might appear mundane - Lawrence Calcagno the painter of the White Series has said, “The pure white surface of the canvas is a metaphor for perfection. When I touch the canvas with paint the perfection is destroyed. As I proceed I try to re-approach the harmony and the unity of the original canvas.” and later he stated, “I feel that I paint the white shadow of reality beyond the outward appearance of things and ideas.”
Okay, maybe he was an idealist, but that is okay - Ideals - morals, transparency, reconciliation - Ideals are what make reality not quite so gray. He felt that there was more to reality than the outward vestiges that cloak our world and the people in them. What Calgano felt, I know to be true. People are so much more, reality is so much more. There is so much more life, so much more space, so much more hope in the Spirit, in the inner realm, in that good place. That is what I want to see on this blog - it is so easy to be negative but so very hard to be real. So, please parlay with me, and let's make this something good. Let's explore in The Good Space.
- A.G.
LANDSCAPE AS PROCESS
“The landscape is no longer seen as an object or thing. It becomes a unified color structure or elemental process. Tension is not neutralized; it is brought to a high state of equilibrium, like a spinning top that appears to be motionless. Contradictions between movement and stillness, strength and tenderness, matter and spirit are reconciled to become one in form and image on the canvas.”
LAWRENCE CALCAGNO
Welcome to my blog. Don't laugh, this is just the beginning of it. Beginnings are always white, blank, and boring. However, white can also be the end. White as snow. That is the end in my mind.
Although his works might appear mundane - Lawrence Calcagno the painter of the White Series has said, “The pure white surface of the canvas is a metaphor for perfection. When I touch the canvas with paint the perfection is destroyed. As I proceed I try to re-approach the harmony and the unity of the original canvas.” and later he stated, “I feel that I paint the white shadow of reality beyond the outward appearance of things and ideas.”
Okay, maybe he was an idealist, but that is okay - Ideals - morals, transparency, reconciliation - Ideals are what make reality not quite so gray. He felt that there was more to reality than the outward vestiges that cloak our world and the people in them. What Calgano felt, I know to be true. People are so much more, reality is so much more. There is so much more life, so much more space, so much more hope in the Spirit, in the inner realm, in that good place. That is what I want to see on this blog - it is so easy to be negative but so very hard to be real. So, please parlay with me, and let's make this something good. Let's explore in The Good Space.
- A.G.
LANDSCAPE AS PROCESS
“The landscape is no longer seen as an object or thing. It becomes a unified color structure or elemental process. Tension is not neutralized; it is brought to a high state of equilibrium, like a spinning top that appears to be motionless. Contradictions between movement and stillness, strength and tenderness, matter and spirit are reconciled to become one in form and image on the canvas.”
LAWRENCE CALCAGNO
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